Weigh day

I got on the scale this morning and I am down 3 pounds. 221.....I said NO to ice cream last night, that's right!!!

really proud

I am really proud of myself. The weekends are typically the hardest when dieting. Especially when you are doing nothing but watching football. We started the day off with a huge breakfast which included biscuits and gravy, turkey bacon ( my contribution ), sausage, scrapple, and scrambled eggs. I had turkey bacon, a little sausage and scrapple, and eggs; no bread!!! That was obstacle number one. Number two was when I got hungry about 3 hours later. I filled up my Aquafina bottle with water and added an energy flavor packet and that satisfied me ALMOST. I did later eat a fat free pudding cup and some popcorn, but after football was over I made a HUGE salad and ate that for dinner. Let me go back in time......on Friday, knowing that we would have 4 kids in the house I bought swiss rolls, fruit roll ups, ice cream, popcicles, and God knows what else, so I could have had a field day, but I didn't. Anyway, thats all i wanted to say. This healthy addiction is pretty cool. I say addiction because when i'm in the zone, that is what it feels like. later....

ahhhh

Well Haylie and I slept in this morning to the maximum allowed possible. This DID NOT allow me time to eat breakfast because instead I made Haylie an egg sandwich. I must digress for a second.....Theresa 2 weeks ago would have taken Haylie to Bodo's before dropping her off at school which 1. is NOT a good breakfast if you are trying to lose weight, and 2. costs money. So for me to actually take the time to make an egg sandwich, and I don't mean in the microwave, that says a lot for me, and this is the SECOND time I have done that. Other mornings Haylie will eat cereal or on occasion we do stop at the store and get a cheese stick or banana, if we don't have it at home. Back to the breakfast this morning...so I didn't have time to eat breakfast, BUT I did make myself a protein shake in the nifty little blender my brother bought me, and literally takes 5 seconds to add milk, ice and the powder. I could have added fruit, but I didn't have any protein shake friendly fruit. SOOOO, I'm feeling really good about the changes I have made. Oh! and Haylie and I have been doing cardio together. That child had me on the treadmill, bike, AND elliptical. she is definitely a good work out partner. Thats it for now......

Still gettin it

It has been a week of nothing but drinking water ( with the exception of a few mixed drinks ), and watching sugar, and carbs. I don't know if I have lost any weight, but I feel great! Last week was quite stressful, but considering that, and knowing that I didn't fall, I know I can do this. I think the difference is i'm not being too strict about it, and I have the absolute support of Mike. He and I are doing this together :-)

I'm in the zone

Well this is only day 2 of dieting and cleansing, but day three of not drinking. I am not pretending to quit drinking cold turkey because that is un-realistic, but being engaged is good for me. I have made up my mind to do something for myself, and that is be a beautiful bride on my wedding day. I'm excited, and mornings are beautiful!! Let me see how far I can go.....

WOW

Its been since April 29 that I last posted. I would like to say that I got wrapped up in the Summer mayhem of having 3 kids in our house at all time, and that is why I haven't blogged. I would like to say that, but it would be a lie. I haven't blogged because I have regressed in every way, and as my good friend Charlotte says "this keeps me accountable", and well, I don't want to be accountable. Sooo, what do I do now? I would like to believe that God will fix this, but only I can do that. Waking up this morning and finding more injuries on myself that I don't know how I got, something has to give. Maybe its time to be accountable......

Strengths and weaknesses

I know, I know! I haven't been blogging. I'm not really sure there are too many people that care except you Char ;-D, but hey! I've been busy! Actually, as much time as I spend of Facebook I could have written a book on my blog. I digress.....

I have a friend who just relapsed after 3 months and even though he drank last nigh, I am so proud of him because he was sober for 3 months! 3 months is 2 months longer than I was.

I was talking to Charlotte the other day, actually it was a FB e-mail, and I said something before I even realized it was an AH HA moment, I need to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution. So what is the solution? Not drinking? That in itself is the problem too.

I have had Haylie since Sunday, and the last time I drank was last Friday. I have almost gone a week. Having Haylie full-time, at least for now, has proven to me that there are more important things to me than drinking.

I have more contemplating to do. I think i'll post again later this evening.....

I'm gonna need assistance here

I have completely fallen. I haven't worked out in over two weeks, I am eating double my normal calorie intake, and I am drinking again. Please God, whomever, give me the strength to get back on track.

I feel myself slipping......

back into old habits. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I have been drinking again. Why do I have to have such an issue with making bad habits a constant routine? Every Sunday, I pray to the good Lord above to help me stay strong and continue to fight. Thats all I can do, I guess. Thanks for listening.

Good News!

Well nurse from my docs office called to tell me that my liver is back to normal. I am not completely sober but I am doing so much better than before. I have to go back in 3-4 months for more blood work, but I am allowed to safely say that I no longer have alcoholic hepatitis. However, this does not give me permission to back track and ignore everything I have done in the past 53 days. I may not be 53 days sober but I am sober today and that is all that matters. One day at a time.....

you ask, i'll tell

I have been asked why I am not blogging as much, and this is my answer: I don't know if its my medication or just life, but I have been sort of withdrawn. You wouldn't know it to watch me on Facebook, but I just am. I am sober today, but haven't stayed sober the entire time since my journey began. I believe I have drank 4 times in the last 45 days. That is actually very good for me. I am waiting for my last batch of bloodwork to come back. If staying strong sober for 30 days didn't change my liver levels than I will have to take more serious measures. Its all good though. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon so I will do whatever it takes to be around for the next 50 years, if nothing else but to kick Tom's ass......later

I love me

well after 41 days, I have drank 3 times. I guess that is a huge accomplishment even if I'm not completely sober. I have to do what's best for me on my terms, and no one elses. I thank God for not leaving my side, and for loving me unconditionally. Now I must do the same.

kinda quiet

Yes, its possible for me to be quiet. Gasp! I think I am taking me time and mixing it with a little bit of Mike and really reflecting on how lucky I am. Just sayin....

new road

I have decided that instead of a sobriety count I'm just not going to drink today. I'll worry about not drinking tomorrow, tomorrow. I guess that is what one day at a time means. I really need to make it much less difficult than I do.

Its rainy outside but its beautiful because i'm alive and sober.

March 12, 2010

I'm having a wonderful Friday evening with Mike. It has been very enlightening. Makes me wonder who I should be friends with and I shouldn't. I love my friends and I love my boyfriend even more! Goodnight everybody!

Day 2 again ~ to all my peeps

You know its funny; I have had a headache ever since replapsing the other night. Either its a sign from God or I have a coincidental sinus infection that just happened to start when I should be hungover.

I want you to know that I am thankful for your friendship and support and I couldn't take it one day at a time without you.

31-1

Okay, I'm starting this thing again. I am not going to start my count over, just show my wins and losses. Hopefully last night will be my last loss. Waking up this morning I am not as ashamed of myself as I thought I would be. I think because I had it stuck in my head that my friends would leave me if I failed. I think I was hard enough on myself for everyone. Thanks for listening.

for those of you that follow with subscription....

31-1....

I am a coward and I gave in to the temptation.

I hope that those of you who put faith in me will still follow to give me encouragement.

I still think that I will have 10:13 tattooed to my ****

Please dont leave me, I need you.

Theresa

31-0

I don't know if its because I passed the 30 day mark, but today I fought a seriously hard battle with my inner demons, and almost gave in. First it was get bourbon and share it was Mike then it was just get one bottle of wine, just to get rid of the craving. Then I would think about how I would wake up the next morning and feel like shit, but that thought didn't last long until the next negative temptation shoved its way into my mind.

I drove past the ABC store on pantops en route to Food Lion, 1 obstacle. I could still buy my absolute favorite wine in Food Lion......getting out of the car.....walking down the parking lot towards FL........BAM! I see my reflection in the window. Yes I have lost 14 pounds but I still waddle like a 7 month pregnant woman. I was reminded that with just one sip, even if I kept it to myself, I have let down me, you, God, and most of all ME.

I am thankful to be home right now, safe from any alcohol temptation. Thank you God for helping me through that fight. I fear the day will come that I slip, and if it happens will my support be gone? And you know what? That is the alcoholic in me asking you to say you will support me, giving me permission to slip. At least I'm able to admit that. Maybe it is time to go back to AA.

30 days sober

Have you ever heard an audience in your head cheering you on when you have succeeded in something great? I am hearing that applause right now. I made it to Day 30. Wow! Hard to believe, but it goes to show that I can fight against my greatest downfalls, and as long as I remember to do it One Day At A Time! Til later......