2011 back to the usual

So today is 1/5/2011 and 4 out of those 5 days I have been sober. What's new, right? Its a new year so I have new year's resolutions. They are the same as always. Lose weight, quit drinking......I have really nothing to report except that I have gained all of my weight back and currently I am sober. One that is important though is that what I WANT. I WANT to stop drinking, even more so than losing weight. I will take it one day at a time and what will be will be, but I know that I am not defeated until I give up, and I now no that no matter what kind of lull I go through, that isn't an option. Just sayin......

settled in

I'm on a plateau right now, and though I am "settled in", I am not frustrated. I am no where near my goal, but I have learned how to enjoy food and eat it with sensibility. I now need to focus more on exercise. Now that my membership is gone there is no reason why a brisk walk or even a bike ride can't be enjoyed. more later......

Down 21

So I have been hard core dieting for about 5 weeks now, and I am down 21 pounds. I have been using Sunday's as my "treat" day. Well I went OVERBOARD yesterday. I had chicken wings, pizza, ice cream, even a moonpie. Ugh! I felt like shit this morning when I woke up, but the important this is that I started right where I left off. I went to the gyno today and stepped on the scale and hadn't budged a pound. What a relief! Point is, a day off from dieting hasn't waived me from my weight loss journey. I'm proud of myself.

down 16

I took a me day, today. I am enjoying life so much it should be a sin. I am down 16 pounds which makes me 219. Mike and I are doing this together and I am so proud of him. I believe he has lost 8 pounds total. I don't have much to say except YAY ME! YAY US!! I can't believe I ever lived a day, drew in a breath of air, without being this happy. All that time wasted. Thank God i'm only (almost) 35.

Weigh day

I got on the scale this morning and I am down 3 pounds. 221.....I said NO to ice cream last night, that's right!!!

really proud

I am really proud of myself. The weekends are typically the hardest when dieting. Especially when you are doing nothing but watching football. We started the day off with a huge breakfast which included biscuits and gravy, turkey bacon ( my contribution ), sausage, scrapple, and scrambled eggs. I had turkey bacon, a little sausage and scrapple, and eggs; no bread!!! That was obstacle number one. Number two was when I got hungry about 3 hours later. I filled up my Aquafina bottle with water and added an energy flavor packet and that satisfied me ALMOST. I did later eat a fat free pudding cup and some popcorn, but after football was over I made a HUGE salad and ate that for dinner. Let me go back in time......on Friday, knowing that we would have 4 kids in the house I bought swiss rolls, fruit roll ups, ice cream, popcicles, and God knows what else, so I could have had a field day, but I didn't. Anyway, thats all i wanted to say. This healthy addiction is pretty cool. I say addiction because when i'm in the zone, that is what it feels like. later....

ahhhh

Well Haylie and I slept in this morning to the maximum allowed possible. This DID NOT allow me time to eat breakfast because instead I made Haylie an egg sandwich. I must digress for a second.....Theresa 2 weeks ago would have taken Haylie to Bodo's before dropping her off at school which 1. is NOT a good breakfast if you are trying to lose weight, and 2. costs money. So for me to actually take the time to make an egg sandwich, and I don't mean in the microwave, that says a lot for me, and this is the SECOND time I have done that. Other mornings Haylie will eat cereal or on occasion we do stop at the store and get a cheese stick or banana, if we don't have it at home. Back to the breakfast this morning...so I didn't have time to eat breakfast, BUT I did make myself a protein shake in the nifty little blender my brother bought me, and literally takes 5 seconds to add milk, ice and the powder. I could have added fruit, but I didn't have any protein shake friendly fruit. SOOOO, I'm feeling really good about the changes I have made. Oh! and Haylie and I have been doing cardio together. That child had me on the treadmill, bike, AND elliptical. she is definitely a good work out partner. Thats it for now......

Still gettin it

It has been a week of nothing but drinking water ( with the exception of a few mixed drinks ), and watching sugar, and carbs. I don't know if I have lost any weight, but I feel great! Last week was quite stressful, but considering that, and knowing that I didn't fall, I know I can do this. I think the difference is i'm not being too strict about it, and I have the absolute support of Mike. He and I are doing this together :-)

I'm in the zone

Well this is only day 2 of dieting and cleansing, but day three of not drinking. I am not pretending to quit drinking cold turkey because that is un-realistic, but being engaged is good for me. I have made up my mind to do something for myself, and that is be a beautiful bride on my wedding day. I'm excited, and mornings are beautiful!! Let me see how far I can go.....

WOW

Its been since April 29 that I last posted. I would like to say that I got wrapped up in the Summer mayhem of having 3 kids in our house at all time, and that is why I haven't blogged. I would like to say that, but it would be a lie. I haven't blogged because I have regressed in every way, and as my good friend Charlotte says "this keeps me accountable", and well, I don't want to be accountable. Sooo, what do I do now? I would like to believe that God will fix this, but only I can do that. Waking up this morning and finding more injuries on myself that I don't know how I got, something has to give. Maybe its time to be accountable......

Strengths and weaknesses

I know, I know! I haven't been blogging. I'm not really sure there are too many people that care except you Char ;-D, but hey! I've been busy! Actually, as much time as I spend of Facebook I could have written a book on my blog. I digress.....

I have a friend who just relapsed after 3 months and even though he drank last nigh, I am so proud of him because he was sober for 3 months! 3 months is 2 months longer than I was.

I was talking to Charlotte the other day, actually it was a FB e-mail, and I said something before I even realized it was an AH HA moment, I need to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution. So what is the solution? Not drinking? That in itself is the problem too.

I have had Haylie since Sunday, and the last time I drank was last Friday. I have almost gone a week. Having Haylie full-time, at least for now, has proven to me that there are more important things to me than drinking.

I have more contemplating to do. I think i'll post again later this evening.....

I'm gonna need assistance here

I have completely fallen. I haven't worked out in over two weeks, I am eating double my normal calorie intake, and I am drinking again. Please God, whomever, give me the strength to get back on track.

I feel myself slipping......

back into old habits. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I have been drinking again. Why do I have to have such an issue with making bad habits a constant routine? Every Sunday, I pray to the good Lord above to help me stay strong and continue to fight. Thats all I can do, I guess. Thanks for listening.

Good News!

Well nurse from my docs office called to tell me that my liver is back to normal. I am not completely sober but I am doing so much better than before. I have to go back in 3-4 months for more blood work, but I am allowed to safely say that I no longer have alcoholic hepatitis. However, this does not give me permission to back track and ignore everything I have done in the past 53 days. I may not be 53 days sober but I am sober today and that is all that matters. One day at a time.....

you ask, i'll tell

I have been asked why I am not blogging as much, and this is my answer: I don't know if its my medication or just life, but I have been sort of withdrawn. You wouldn't know it to watch me on Facebook, but I just am. I am sober today, but haven't stayed sober the entire time since my journey began. I believe I have drank 4 times in the last 45 days. That is actually very good for me. I am waiting for my last batch of bloodwork to come back. If staying strong sober for 30 days didn't change my liver levels than I will have to take more serious measures. Its all good though. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon so I will do whatever it takes to be around for the next 50 years, if nothing else but to kick Tom's ass......later

I love me

well after 41 days, I have drank 3 times. I guess that is a huge accomplishment even if I'm not completely sober. I have to do what's best for me on my terms, and no one elses. I thank God for not leaving my side, and for loving me unconditionally. Now I must do the same.

kinda quiet

Yes, its possible for me to be quiet. Gasp! I think I am taking me time and mixing it with a little bit of Mike and really reflecting on how lucky I am. Just sayin....

new road

I have decided that instead of a sobriety count I'm just not going to drink today. I'll worry about not drinking tomorrow, tomorrow. I guess that is what one day at a time means. I really need to make it much less difficult than I do.

Its rainy outside but its beautiful because i'm alive and sober.

March 12, 2010

I'm having a wonderful Friday evening with Mike. It has been very enlightening. Makes me wonder who I should be friends with and I shouldn't. I love my friends and I love my boyfriend even more! Goodnight everybody!

Day 2 again ~ to all my peeps

You know its funny; I have had a headache ever since replapsing the other night. Either its a sign from God or I have a coincidental sinus infection that just happened to start when I should be hungover.

I want you to know that I am thankful for your friendship and support and I couldn't take it one day at a time without you.