Day 8

So i can't help but wonder why day 8 is so difficult. I didn't realize alcohol has so much sugar. Apparently now that my system is alcohol free I am having sugar withdrawals. I guess a candy bar a day won't hurt, for a while that is.......all in all, i'm feeling good, and i sleep now, not just pass out. onward to day 9.

t

Sober again??

Ok so I have been out of touch, out of shape, and just plain out. For the past few months I have been drinking a pint of vodka a day, sometimes more, and managing to be a functional alcoholic. Recently I have been feeling on my right side a very uncomfortable feeling that was the equivalent (to those who have been preggers) to a baby kicking you in the ribs. Only the kick would stay in one spot and not move. I thought maybe it was my boobs because i'm not wearing proper undergarments, or maybe just because I am slouching. Then I started to think that maybe I had a growth, but nothing appeared to be getting larger. September 22 (yes 6 days ago) It occurred to me to look up where my liver is (that anatomy class went out the window) and viola - exactly where the discomfort is. Of course I haven't been to the doctor, but I knew my liver was enlarged due to the alcohol and I knew that I needed to stop. So 6 days later, I am sober AGAIN. Something seems different this time. My close friend D tells me to go to AA - I suppose I should. I've done it many times, and i'm not ashamed, but something keeps me from going back. I think I have some soul searching to do. In the meantime, good night day 6 - onward to day 7.

T

week 2

Well Friday was 7 days and I lost 4 pounds. Without exercise it seems futile, but I'm sticking to the diet with the exception of yesterday.....had WAY TOO MANY calories......One day at a time....

Day 6

Well the fact that I am on day 6 and writing in my blog tells me that i'm feeling positive. Yes, I need to be told that because I can talk myself out of anything. I haven't weighed myself yet, don't really want to. I figure when I start feeling 100% better then maybe I'll cross that bridge. I do know how much my starting weight is so that is all that matters for now. One day at a time....

made it through the weekend

Started diet on Friday, today is Monday. I made it through a lot of down time AND the receipt of 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Each one of us ordered a box and I gave mine to Mike. I think I make be serious this time, but I have been serious before. So what will make this time different? I don't know, but I won't find out until I try. One day at a time....

Its all about self control

So I have gotten to the point that I can't sit at my desk without my back hurting. What have I done to get to this point? Let myself go. What am I going to do to fix it? Get back on the bandwagon! Today is day 2 of dieting. Where is my post from day 1? I was just hoping to make it this far.....Its morning time and i'm hungry and i'm home so that is a dangerous combination. The Theresa with no self control would go grab a Toaster Strudel. The Theresa typing will make some scrambled eggs. One day at a time......

2011 back to the usual

So today is 1/5/2011 and 4 out of those 5 days I have been sober. What's new, right? Its a new year so I have new year's resolutions. They are the same as always. Lose weight, quit drinking......I have really nothing to report except that I have gained all of my weight back and currently I am sober. One that is important though is that what I WANT. I WANT to stop drinking, even more so than losing weight. I will take it one day at a time and what will be will be, but I know that I am not defeated until I give up, and I now no that no matter what kind of lull I go through, that isn't an option. Just sayin......

settled in

I'm on a plateau right now, and though I am "settled in", I am not frustrated. I am no where near my goal, but I have learned how to enjoy food and eat it with sensibility. I now need to focus more on exercise. Now that my membership is gone there is no reason why a brisk walk or even a bike ride can't be enjoyed. more later......

Down 21

So I have been hard core dieting for about 5 weeks now, and I am down 21 pounds. I have been using Sunday's as my "treat" day. Well I went OVERBOARD yesterday. I had chicken wings, pizza, ice cream, even a moonpie. Ugh! I felt like shit this morning when I woke up, but the important this is that I started right where I left off. I went to the gyno today and stepped on the scale and hadn't budged a pound. What a relief! Point is, a day off from dieting hasn't waived me from my weight loss journey. I'm proud of myself.

down 16

I took a me day, today. I am enjoying life so much it should be a sin. I am down 16 pounds which makes me 219. Mike and I are doing this together and I am so proud of him. I believe he has lost 8 pounds total. I don't have much to say except YAY ME! YAY US!! I can't believe I ever lived a day, drew in a breath of air, without being this happy. All that time wasted. Thank God i'm only (almost) 35.

Weigh day

I got on the scale this morning and I am down 3 pounds. 221.....I said NO to ice cream last night, that's right!!!

really proud

I am really proud of myself. The weekends are typically the hardest when dieting. Especially when you are doing nothing but watching football. We started the day off with a huge breakfast which included biscuits and gravy, turkey bacon ( my contribution ), sausage, scrapple, and scrambled eggs. I had turkey bacon, a little sausage and scrapple, and eggs; no bread!!! That was obstacle number one. Number two was when I got hungry about 3 hours later. I filled up my Aquafina bottle with water and added an energy flavor packet and that satisfied me ALMOST. I did later eat a fat free pudding cup and some popcorn, but after football was over I made a HUGE salad and ate that for dinner. Let me go back in time......on Friday, knowing that we would have 4 kids in the house I bought swiss rolls, fruit roll ups, ice cream, popcicles, and God knows what else, so I could have had a field day, but I didn't. Anyway, thats all i wanted to say. This healthy addiction is pretty cool. I say addiction because when i'm in the zone, that is what it feels like. later....

ahhhh

Well Haylie and I slept in this morning to the maximum allowed possible. This DID NOT allow me time to eat breakfast because instead I made Haylie an egg sandwich. I must digress for a second.....Theresa 2 weeks ago would have taken Haylie to Bodo's before dropping her off at school which 1. is NOT a good breakfast if you are trying to lose weight, and 2. costs money. So for me to actually take the time to make an egg sandwich, and I don't mean in the microwave, that says a lot for me, and this is the SECOND time I have done that. Other mornings Haylie will eat cereal or on occasion we do stop at the store and get a cheese stick or banana, if we don't have it at home. Back to the breakfast this morning...so I didn't have time to eat breakfast, BUT I did make myself a protein shake in the nifty little blender my brother bought me, and literally takes 5 seconds to add milk, ice and the powder. I could have added fruit, but I didn't have any protein shake friendly fruit. SOOOO, I'm feeling really good about the changes I have made. Oh! and Haylie and I have been doing cardio together. That child had me on the treadmill, bike, AND elliptical. she is definitely a good work out partner. Thats it for now......

Still gettin it

It has been a week of nothing but drinking water ( with the exception of a few mixed drinks ), and watching sugar, and carbs. I don't know if I have lost any weight, but I feel great! Last week was quite stressful, but considering that, and knowing that I didn't fall, I know I can do this. I think the difference is i'm not being too strict about it, and I have the absolute support of Mike. He and I are doing this together :-)

I'm in the zone

Well this is only day 2 of dieting and cleansing, but day three of not drinking. I am not pretending to quit drinking cold turkey because that is un-realistic, but being engaged is good for me. I have made up my mind to do something for myself, and that is be a beautiful bride on my wedding day. I'm excited, and mornings are beautiful!! Let me see how far I can go.....

WOW

Its been since April 29 that I last posted. I would like to say that I got wrapped up in the Summer mayhem of having 3 kids in our house at all time, and that is why I haven't blogged. I would like to say that, but it would be a lie. I haven't blogged because I have regressed in every way, and as my good friend Charlotte says "this keeps me accountable", and well, I don't want to be accountable. Sooo, what do I do now? I would like to believe that God will fix this, but only I can do that. Waking up this morning and finding more injuries on myself that I don't know how I got, something has to give. Maybe its time to be accountable......

Strengths and weaknesses

I know, I know! I haven't been blogging. I'm not really sure there are too many people that care except you Char ;-D, but hey! I've been busy! Actually, as much time as I spend of Facebook I could have written a book on my blog. I digress.....

I have a friend who just relapsed after 3 months and even though he drank last nigh, I am so proud of him because he was sober for 3 months! 3 months is 2 months longer than I was.

I was talking to Charlotte the other day, actually it was a FB e-mail, and I said something before I even realized it was an AH HA moment, I need to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution. So what is the solution? Not drinking? That in itself is the problem too.

I have had Haylie since Sunday, and the last time I drank was last Friday. I have almost gone a week. Having Haylie full-time, at least for now, has proven to me that there are more important things to me than drinking.

I have more contemplating to do. I think i'll post again later this evening.....

I'm gonna need assistance here

I have completely fallen. I haven't worked out in over two weeks, I am eating double my normal calorie intake, and I am drinking again. Please God, whomever, give me the strength to get back on track.

I feel myself slipping......

back into old habits. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I have been drinking again. Why do I have to have such an issue with making bad habits a constant routine? Every Sunday, I pray to the good Lord above to help me stay strong and continue to fight. Thats all I can do, I guess. Thanks for listening.

Good News!

Well nurse from my docs office called to tell me that my liver is back to normal. I am not completely sober but I am doing so much better than before. I have to go back in 3-4 months for more blood work, but I am allowed to safely say that I no longer have alcoholic hepatitis. However, this does not give me permission to back track and ignore everything I have done in the past 53 days. I may not be 53 days sober but I am sober today and that is all that matters. One day at a time.....