settled in

I'm on a plateau right now, and though I am "settled in", I am not frustrated. I am no where near my goal, but I have learned how to enjoy food and eat it with sensibility. I now need to focus more on exercise. Now that my membership is gone there is no reason why a brisk walk or even a bike ride can't be enjoyed. more later......

Down 21

So I have been hard core dieting for about 5 weeks now, and I am down 21 pounds. I have been using Sunday's as my "treat" day. Well I went OVERBOARD yesterday. I had chicken wings, pizza, ice cream, even a moonpie. Ugh! I felt like shit this morning when I woke up, but the important this is that I started right where I left off. I went to the gyno today and stepped on the scale and hadn't budged a pound. What a relief! Point is, a day off from dieting hasn't waived me from my weight loss journey. I'm proud of myself.

down 16

I took a me day, today. I am enjoying life so much it should be a sin. I am down 16 pounds which makes me 219. Mike and I are doing this together and I am so proud of him. I believe he has lost 8 pounds total. I don't have much to say except YAY ME! YAY US!! I can't believe I ever lived a day, drew in a breath of air, without being this happy. All that time wasted. Thank God i'm only (almost) 35.

Weigh day

I got on the scale this morning and I am down 3 pounds. 221.....I said NO to ice cream last night, that's right!!!

really proud

I am really proud of myself. The weekends are typically the hardest when dieting. Especially when you are doing nothing but watching football. We started the day off with a huge breakfast which included biscuits and gravy, turkey bacon ( my contribution ), sausage, scrapple, and scrambled eggs. I had turkey bacon, a little sausage and scrapple, and eggs; no bread!!! That was obstacle number one. Number two was when I got hungry about 3 hours later. I filled up my Aquafina bottle with water and added an energy flavor packet and that satisfied me ALMOST. I did later eat a fat free pudding cup and some popcorn, but after football was over I made a HUGE salad and ate that for dinner. Let me go back in time......on Friday, knowing that we would have 4 kids in the house I bought swiss rolls, fruit roll ups, ice cream, popcicles, and God knows what else, so I could have had a field day, but I didn't. Anyway, thats all i wanted to say. This healthy addiction is pretty cool. I say addiction because when i'm in the zone, that is what it feels like. later....

ahhhh

Well Haylie and I slept in this morning to the maximum allowed possible. This DID NOT allow me time to eat breakfast because instead I made Haylie an egg sandwich. I must digress for a second.....Theresa 2 weeks ago would have taken Haylie to Bodo's before dropping her off at school which 1. is NOT a good breakfast if you are trying to lose weight, and 2. costs money. So for me to actually take the time to make an egg sandwich, and I don't mean in the microwave, that says a lot for me, and this is the SECOND time I have done that. Other mornings Haylie will eat cereal or on occasion we do stop at the store and get a cheese stick or banana, if we don't have it at home. Back to the breakfast this morning...so I didn't have time to eat breakfast, BUT I did make myself a protein shake in the nifty little blender my brother bought me, and literally takes 5 seconds to add milk, ice and the powder. I could have added fruit, but I didn't have any protein shake friendly fruit. SOOOO, I'm feeling really good about the changes I have made. Oh! and Haylie and I have been doing cardio together. That child had me on the treadmill, bike, AND elliptical. she is definitely a good work out partner. Thats it for now......

Still gettin it

It has been a week of nothing but drinking water ( with the exception of a few mixed drinks ), and watching sugar, and carbs. I don't know if I have lost any weight, but I feel great! Last week was quite stressful, but considering that, and knowing that I didn't fall, I know I can do this. I think the difference is i'm not being too strict about it, and I have the absolute support of Mike. He and I are doing this together :-)

I'm in the zone

Well this is only day 2 of dieting and cleansing, but day three of not drinking. I am not pretending to quit drinking cold turkey because that is un-realistic, but being engaged is good for me. I have made up my mind to do something for myself, and that is be a beautiful bride on my wedding day. I'm excited, and mornings are beautiful!! Let me see how far I can go.....

WOW

Its been since April 29 that I last posted. I would like to say that I got wrapped up in the Summer mayhem of having 3 kids in our house at all time, and that is why I haven't blogged. I would like to say that, but it would be a lie. I haven't blogged because I have regressed in every way, and as my good friend Charlotte says "this keeps me accountable", and well, I don't want to be accountable. Sooo, what do I do now? I would like to believe that God will fix this, but only I can do that. Waking up this morning and finding more injuries on myself that I don't know how I got, something has to give. Maybe its time to be accountable......

Strengths and weaknesses

I know, I know! I haven't been blogging. I'm not really sure there are too many people that care except you Char ;-D, but hey! I've been busy! Actually, as much time as I spend of Facebook I could have written a book on my blog. I digress.....

I have a friend who just relapsed after 3 months and even though he drank last nigh, I am so proud of him because he was sober for 3 months! 3 months is 2 months longer than I was.

I was talking to Charlotte the other day, actually it was a FB e-mail, and I said something before I even realized it was an AH HA moment, I need to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution. So what is the solution? Not drinking? That in itself is the problem too.

I have had Haylie since Sunday, and the last time I drank was last Friday. I have almost gone a week. Having Haylie full-time, at least for now, has proven to me that there are more important things to me than drinking.

I have more contemplating to do. I think i'll post again later this evening.....

I'm gonna need assistance here

I have completely fallen. I haven't worked out in over two weeks, I am eating double my normal calorie intake, and I am drinking again. Please God, whomever, give me the strength to get back on track.

I feel myself slipping......

back into old habits. I haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I have been drinking again. Why do I have to have such an issue with making bad habits a constant routine? Every Sunday, I pray to the good Lord above to help me stay strong and continue to fight. Thats all I can do, I guess. Thanks for listening.

Good News!

Well nurse from my docs office called to tell me that my liver is back to normal. I am not completely sober but I am doing so much better than before. I have to go back in 3-4 months for more blood work, but I am allowed to safely say that I no longer have alcoholic hepatitis. However, this does not give me permission to back track and ignore everything I have done in the past 53 days. I may not be 53 days sober but I am sober today and that is all that matters. One day at a time.....

you ask, i'll tell

I have been asked why I am not blogging as much, and this is my answer: I don't know if its my medication or just life, but I have been sort of withdrawn. You wouldn't know it to watch me on Facebook, but I just am. I am sober today, but haven't stayed sober the entire time since my journey began. I believe I have drank 4 times in the last 45 days. That is actually very good for me. I am waiting for my last batch of bloodwork to come back. If staying strong sober for 30 days didn't change my liver levels than I will have to take more serious measures. Its all good though. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon so I will do whatever it takes to be around for the next 50 years, if nothing else but to kick Tom's ass......later

I love me

well after 41 days, I have drank 3 times. I guess that is a huge accomplishment even if I'm not completely sober. I have to do what's best for me on my terms, and no one elses. I thank God for not leaving my side, and for loving me unconditionally. Now I must do the same.

kinda quiet

Yes, its possible for me to be quiet. Gasp! I think I am taking me time and mixing it with a little bit of Mike and really reflecting on how lucky I am. Just sayin....

new road

I have decided that instead of a sobriety count I'm just not going to drink today. I'll worry about not drinking tomorrow, tomorrow. I guess that is what one day at a time means. I really need to make it much less difficult than I do.

Its rainy outside but its beautiful because i'm alive and sober.

March 12, 2010

I'm having a wonderful Friday evening with Mike. It has been very enlightening. Makes me wonder who I should be friends with and I shouldn't. I love my friends and I love my boyfriend even more! Goodnight everybody!

Day 2 again ~ to all my peeps

You know its funny; I have had a headache ever since replapsing the other night. Either its a sign from God or I have a coincidental sinus infection that just happened to start when I should be hungover.

I want you to know that I am thankful for your friendship and support and I couldn't take it one day at a time without you.

31-1

Okay, I'm starting this thing again. I am not going to start my count over, just show my wins and losses. Hopefully last night will be my last loss. Waking up this morning I am not as ashamed of myself as I thought I would be. I think because I had it stuck in my head that my friends would leave me if I failed. I think I was hard enough on myself for everyone. Thanks for listening.

for those of you that follow with subscription....

31-1....

I am a coward and I gave in to the temptation.

I hope that those of you who put faith in me will still follow to give me encouragement.

I still think that I will have 10:13 tattooed to my ****

Please dont leave me, I need you.

Theresa

31-0

I don't know if its because I passed the 30 day mark, but today I fought a seriously hard battle with my inner demons, and almost gave in. First it was get bourbon and share it was Mike then it was just get one bottle of wine, just to get rid of the craving. Then I would think about how I would wake up the next morning and feel like shit, but that thought didn't last long until the next negative temptation shoved its way into my mind.

I drove past the ABC store on pantops en route to Food Lion, 1 obstacle. I could still buy my absolute favorite wine in Food Lion......getting out of the car.....walking down the parking lot towards FL........BAM! I see my reflection in the window. Yes I have lost 14 pounds but I still waddle like a 7 month pregnant woman. I was reminded that with just one sip, even if I kept it to myself, I have let down me, you, God, and most of all ME.

I am thankful to be home right now, safe from any alcohol temptation. Thank you God for helping me through that fight. I fear the day will come that I slip, and if it happens will my support be gone? And you know what? That is the alcoholic in me asking you to say you will support me, giving me permission to slip. At least I'm able to admit that. Maybe it is time to go back to AA.

30 days sober

Have you ever heard an audience in your head cheering you on when you have succeeded in something great? I am hearing that applause right now. I made it to Day 30. Wow! Hard to believe, but it goes to show that I can fight against my greatest downfalls, and as long as I remember to do it One Day At A Time! Til later......

Day 29

I have had too many cravings for wine today. Dear God, please give me strength to continue with my journey and stay on the path of sobriety.

Dinner- waitress puts a big ole bottle of wine on the table and asks if anyone would like some. Well yes, yes I would, but can I? Should I? NO

CVS- going down the chip isle, my favorite wine sitting right next to the chips. Really? In the grocery store they would be on the opposite side of the store.

God, why must you test me?

.......night 29, almost 30 days......to be continued...

Night 28 - Depression but rear its ugly head every once in a while

I must have too much invested in my love of Women's Virginia Basketball because when they lose, I feel like the world has just come to an end. I can only assume this is because of my depression, but this too shall pass.......28 days, not so shabby (silver lining on this disappointing loss).

Night 27 ~ To my dear friend P. F.

You are crying for help. That is the first step. Now you have to embrace it. I am only on day 27, but I'm in a place that I haven't been in years. You can do it, but you have to do it for you. You deserve the best for yourself. You are strong. You are worth it!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Tonight, I say this for myself and for you.

Love, T

Day 26, on vacation

.....well Mini Vacation, that is. Heading to Greensboro tomorrow for the UVA Women's Basketball tourney with my parents and Haylie. I have so much to do including write an Essay that is due Sunday, and study for a mid-term due on the 13th. I am planning on going to the gym today to do another kick ass "non" step class, but part of my brain is trying to talk the other part out of going. Not so much to the gym, but to the class. I hate those inner demons. They aren't successfully pressuring to to drink so they think they can tell me not to do something that is actually good for me. Well, i'm not listening. As long as I can get out of here in time, I'm going to the non-step class (step class, but I don't use the step because i'm extremely out of shape) and work my ass off.......lata

25 days

I had a stressful morning dealing with other peoples problems. It stressed me out enough to want to drink, but I let that pass. I think the only time that I get really effected by the desire is when I see a bottle or glass of wine. I don't think that will ever go away....maybe subside, but never ever go away.

Good night 24th day of sobriety

I can't believe it has been 24 days. It seems like forever ago when I started this journey. Why did it take hepatitis to accomplish this? I'll never know.....not much to say today. Just tired, and for the most part life is good......to be continued >>>>>>>>>day 25

Night 23 - other problems need resolving

So, Mike and I go to the movies this evening and when we get out I have a voicemail waiting for me. Haylie has called to say that her dad wants me to pick her up. Tom and Julie are fighting again. Again, Really?? When do they not fight? When does my poor Haylie have time to be a 10-year-old child? She is blamed by Julie for "taking sides". She is afraid of her father therefore she feels she must take sides. Its a double edged sword that she must deal with every time she stays with her father. I asked her if she feels safe with me. She said yes. I asked her how she feels when she is with her dad and Julie when they are fighting. She said she feels broken. What a very sad, but very thoughtful feeling for a 10-year-old.

I can't believe that I had a child with such a narcissistic, immature, despicable man, and that Haylie has to endure him and everything about him 50% of the time. Time will take care of everything. In the meantime, God, please watch over my daughter and keep her wits about her and not be influenced by her father.

Day 22 ouch my legs hurt and some other words..

Yesterday when I did my much needed workout, I did the elliptical for 30 minutes. I went through a period of extreme sprinting. Today, after standing on my feet for 8 hours, OUCH. I'm feeling it now.

Mike and I had a long talk today about my drinking. Its hard for him to understand that I'm an alcoholic, but he will do whatever it takes to help me through this. Its hard for me to understand how someone who doesn't have a drinking problem can just have one drink, but I realize that I can't expect everyone to quit drinking around me. He called to ask me if it was okay for him to drink while he was working on his truck. He #1 wanted to ask even though I wasn't even home, and #2 wanted to make sure that I would be okay if when I got home he had had a few. Every day that goes by he shows me something that makes me wonder how I lived my whole life with the likes of Tom Spangler. I thank God every day for the opportunity to experience a real, but very normal relationship.

I am filled with humility by all of this but reminded of how lucky I am to have such a great support system. To God, Mike, my parents, and all of my friends thank you!

Day 21 ~ sick and tired

I'm pretty sure I have deleted everyone that wants to talk about me to people associated with Charlottesville Catholic School, but in case I haven't, don't be a coward. If you have something to share, tell me and I'll relay it to whomever you please......with that said......

I am 34 years old. I am the youngest mom in Haylies 5th grade class; according to Haylie, and I can't believe that there are people who are 40 something, tattling at CCS. Really??? Do you have nothing better to do then tell people what I say on my Facebook? I have the right to my own opinion and I certainly have the right to say whatever I want on my Facebook without being told to edit, delete, or simply not say anything at all. My Facebook motto is if you don't like it DELETE ME! I guess I'm still pissed off about that.....but whatever.....

For the first time all week, I wanted to drink tonight. I even told Mike that he could buy himself a bottle, just to see if I was strong enough to say no. He said he would like to by a small bottle but he won't because he loves me. Wow! What devotion!

I was even thinking to myself, I could get some pot from somewhere and get the same high. LOL First- I don't smoke pot, Second- One addiction should not be replaced with another.

So instead, I am looking forward to going to the gym for my daily workout. This will be the 4th day in a row. That means I am in the zone. Thank God.

Thank God also for this blog and those of you who read it because I think I have released my negative energy; at least most of it, until the next time........

Day 20 - Eating observations

Well since I was on the north side of Charlottesville at lunchtime I decided I was going to get my lunch at Chick Fil A. That would normally consist of a #5 which is a choice of 8 or 12 nuggets (I get 12) and it comes with fries in a drink. I always value size this combo and request ranch and polynesian dipping sauces. Well I have lost 14 pounds so for once my mind took over instead of my stomach. I thought to myself, "self, you have yogurt at the office. All you need is a main course, not a whole meal". So I went to the Chick Fil A drive thru not exactly knowing what I would get, but I knew at the very least I could get just a pack of chicken nuggets. I was reminded as I looked at the menu that they have a chicken salad sandwich. BINGO!! That is what I got. After eating, i'm quite satisfied, and I proved to myself that I not only have will power, but my mind isn't so bad :-D

To acknowledge my main struggle - 20 days sober. Enough said, for now....

Day 19 - The dreams have started

I just want to say that even though I didn't blog yesterday, I'm still sober. I feel like if I don't maintain a daily blog then people might think i've fallen off the wagon. That isn't the case, but I must have felt guilty about not sharing because I had a dream last night that I drank wine. It took me a minute when I woke up to realize if I actually was still sober. I remember in my dream thinking I wouldn't tell anyone and continue with my sobriety count as if nothing occurred. I have done this before in real life. It is the beginning of the end when that happens. I want to thank God that when I woke up it was just a dream. I really belive that not only am I sober because of my hepatitis, but that I have made a lifestyle change. I think that this is it. I can't get cocky though, because that is when my demons get in the way. I'm in a good place right now. I have lost 14 pounds, my double chin isn't so prominent :) and I eat better. I don't try to talk myself out of going to the gym. I'm not a gym rat, but I plan to go when I plan to go and I go! I am up to 20 minutes on the eliptical (spelling) and 4 laps around the track (1/4 mile) AND my goal now is not to lose weight but to be able to cross my legs like skinny people when they sit down! LOL this is funny but if I could do that again, I would be very happy. So anyway, i'm surviving and my struggle is having its reality checks here and there. I'm okay with that because without them I may not be able to do it. PEACE

Day 17 ~ Second post today....kinda rough

I decided today that after 6 years at Charlottesville Catholic School, Haylie will not be attending next year. It has been a huge struggle for the past few years, going through the divorce. Haylie has suffered so much through all of the bullshit, and this year has been the roughest. There is no communication from her teachers. I don't find out anything until its too late. I have requested conferences from her school with no response. I'm just so sick of worrying about whether or not she is "ready" for middle school. I am also tired of worrying about tuition increase that is promised not to go up, and every year it does. I'm tired of being asked to put in time to volunteer when I don't have the time and the same people are asked over and over again. Haylie has been wanting to go to public school for a couple of years now and though its going to be a huge adjustment for her, I feel its the best decision for her and hopefully it will be one that I don't regret. Thats all for now.....Peace

Day 17 ~ Lost a friend

well today a very good friend of mine decided to choose the path of certainty and comfort, yet very ugly and bound to hurt her in the end. what can I do about it? nothing! I guess I have to face the fact that no matter what, I can't make everyone happy and I can't fix everybodies problems. This post has nothing to do with my struggle but I wanted to share because losing this friend saddens me and knowing what she can't see really is a hard thing to swallow. I can only hope that one day she will open her eyes and realize that she is worth it and she deserves so much better. Unfortunately, I may not care anymore.....it hurts to care....it hurts to watch those you love ignore the red flags....sometimes its just easier to walk away....

Day 16 ~ This is really happening

There is nothing better than waking up in the morning without a struggle. Getting out of bed after the alarm going off one time, not hitting the snooze button. I'm finding that I really wasn't as functional as an active alcoholic as I thought. I would have trouble getting up after a night of drinking, sometimes being a zombie throughout the next day.

I got up this morning and went to church and joined my parents for breakfast. Haylie and I went to the gym and hung around town until dinner, again with my parents. Not only am I sober, I am able to follow a routine with meals. I was not just an alcoholic, but an alcoholic and binge eater. Before heading to the gym I really wanted a candy bar, but my mind (the positive thinking side) told me I'm only going to work off the calories of that candy bar when I could be working of calories from breakfast; a necessary meal of the day. In addition, at the mall Haylie wanted a strawberry smoothie. I was going to use that as an excuse for me to get an ice cream cone. That was after the gym and my mind (again, the positive thinking side) told me, your workout would be for nothing.

So you see, there is more to my alcoholism. I associate drinking with eating, and with being sober comes good health and weight loss. I have two goals now. Stay sober and lose weight.

FYI-I use alcoholic in the past tense form, but I want to make it very clear; I am an alcoholic, and I always will be, but I speak about it through past experiences. I hope that a year from now I will be calling myself a recovering alcoholic.

Long day ~ Day 15 ~ Still Sober

I don't have much to say today. I am really tired after working all day, but I'm feeling great otherwise. I do have to report that when I was in the grocery store this evening, Haylie almost knocked over a bottle of my favorite wine. I wonder if that is a sign...... Happy Saturday evening everyone!!

Day 14 TGIF

Yesterday was a wonderful day! I was in the best mood all day long. After work I went to the gym and the plan was to head to the grocery store and head home. At some point after working out I started to feel like throwing up. I made it to the grocery store only to go straight to the bathroom. Luckily I didn't lose it, but I didn't feel well enough to get dinner so I went home. By the time I got there I was feeling better, but extremely tired. I helped Mike clean out the guest room and we headed to the couch for evening television.

The point of this story is - not once did I think about drinking yesterday, not a single time. It goes to show that once you put your mind to something, you can do anything. I didn't have a choice in the matter, and I don't think I would be here if I did, but I don't care what the reason is I am so grateful to God, Mike and my friends who have supported me and will continue to support me through this.

I put on a pair of jeans this morning that used to cut me in the waist. Now they just make my butt look less like a diaper and more form fitting. Happy Friday.....

Day 13 - Its a beautiful day

It is sunny outside on this 18th day of February and I am 13 days sober.

I went to the gym yesterday, and even though my work out could have been longer it still helped me cope with any desire I may have had to drink. I went home with a good exhaustion and Mike and I (mostly Mike) made dinner. Though I may not be/have as much fun as I was/did when I was drinking, I can sit through a movie and remember it the next day AND I wake up feeling great.

There seems to be only one time of the day that the desire is the strongest and that is around 2pm in the afternoon when I am at work counting the minutes to leave. I associate drinking with certain things and getting past that is the hardest. I'm learning though that drinking may not be an addiction but more a bad habit. Someone recently told me to replace 1 bad habit with 2 good ones. Well, that seems realistic, right? Blogging is one of my good habits, and I guess I need to find another, but either way, I'm sober! One day at a time.....

First Day of Lent - Day 12

FOR LENT: I'm not giving up Facebook or meat or chocolate or chewing gum, not my cell phone or my computer or my sex life. I am giving up alcohol. I already gave it up 12 days ago. If it were up to me I would give up something else, but I had no say in the matter this time.

I don't have Haylie tonight so I know that the evil vs. good will start battling in my head before too long, but I keep reminding myself, I don't have a choice and HEY, i'm losing weight. I woke up this morning, put my freshly washed jeans on and they weren't tight. In fact, they were quite loose.

more later....

Inspirational words, not just for me but for some of my dear friends.....Day 11

http://www.homewithgod.com/Cards/holdon.shtml

Happy Valentines day, day 9

What a day! I started my day by going to church. I have only recently started going back on a regular basis. Thank God for that. He is alway around, but he really makes his presence known when I need him and don't know it. I may or may not listen when I go to church but I do pray. I release myself of any tension I may have for one reason or another and the end result is usually tears streaming down my face. That is such a great feeling. Its so comforting to know that no matter what I do, God will always be there to carry me through.

Today I prayed to keep me strong. Day 9 was a great day. It only became difficult when we went to the grocery store and everywhere I turned there was wine. I'm not gonna lie, it sucks. I love drinking wine. Well I love drinking, but the ABC stores are closed on Sundays so I didn't have to face that problem. Anyway, knowing that I can't drink because of my hepatitis I didn't even tempt fate by going through the whole "one time won't hurt" argument I have every day. Later in the car, Mike and I talked about it and my question to him was how to become a person who drinks moderately. Obviously if I have to ask that question I have a drinking problem, which of course I already know.

The next 2 days I have Haylie.....there won't be too much stressing and by day 12 I will be 3 days stronger.....To be cont...

To conclude day 8

I am finally home after an extremely long day! I am glad to be home and in bed and sober once again. I really wanted to drink tonight, but I knew that it would not only be unfair to myself, but to Mike who is sacrificing his pleasure of drinking on occasion so that I don't get tempted. On to day 9.....goodnight until tomorrow.

Day 8

Well I have been at work all day....still here until 4:30. I just wanted to make sure I wrote in my "journal" before I get home which won't be until 11 or so tonight.

I was really surprised about all of the comments I received about putting myself out there which I really don't see it that way at all. If anyone asked me if I was an alcoholic I would absolutely admit it, but the problem I get is that most people don't believe me. So to lull the surprised out there, I am at peace with this acknowledgement. Now all I have to do is conquer it.

With that said, yesterday was quite tough mentally. I did a lot of thinking about going home and drinking. I knew I couldn't but I was scared that I would. I woke up this morning after having a dream about drinking. I remember in my dream thinking that I couldn't remember drinking but I had been told that I was drunk. The last time I woke with such a relief was the time I stayed sober for 7 months. I hope this is a good sign.....day 8 to be cont.....

Day 7 of sobriety

I know I should have started this 7 days ago, but better late than never. That is usually my way of acting. Always later, always the procrastinator.

I am 7 days sober. Why? Not because I want to be, not completely anyway. I have sat here, at my desk every one of these 7 days wishing for an evening of wine and slurred speach, spinning memories and blackouts. My name is Theresa and I am an alcoholic......

I recently found out, 5 days ago, that I have alcoholic hepatitis. Who me? YES ME! How does one do that to oneself? I tell ya, I never thought it would be me. I have known for a very long time that I have a drinking problem. I have been to AA meetings, online alcoholic help groups, church...I even sobered up for 7 months straight. Well it turns out, after 8 years of being almost consistantly a heavy drinker, I now have liver damage. I now have hepatitis.

So that brings me to day 7. It is Friday, February 12, and I am at work thinking about drinking. A normal Friday without child would consist of good food and drink, getting that awesome buzz that is only set off completely by smoking a cigarette. On this 7th day of my sobriety I am instead going to go home and figure out something else. I can make it through yet another day of sobriety......to be continued